Can I just say this is weird?

A benefit of having a blog is that instead of replying with what would be an unprofessional comment, I can just say it here instead. For example, this email I just got, subject heading "Follow-Up":

Thank you for your interest in the newly posted positions here at T___ F___. I would like to introduce myself; my name is B___ G___ the Director of Programs and I look forward to connecting with you for an opportunity to interview. At this time we are screening applicants if you are determined to be the best match someone will follow up to schedule a time to talk further.

Huh?

So you're saying hi, and you look forward to an interview, but -wait, that should be BUT!- you're still screening applicants? So you're not really looking forward to an interview with me, as I haven't been screened into the pool yet... and if I am, someone ELSE will actually follow-up to schedule that interview???

Is it just me, or is this is a really weird message?

Idea: Job Advocate

I'm just starting to send this to a few a job coaches, counselors, and others I've talked to in the last five years or so. Still seeking feedback, or an actual "Job Advocate".

Hello,

I am writing to you because you have helped me in the past. 

Unfortunately, my situation has not changed and I am still looking for a full-time, permanent position.  I would like to share a mutually beneficial idea with you that I have been mulling over for years.

THE PROBLEM

There are plenty of resources for job seekers on the far ends of the spectrum:  low-skilled workers have WorkSource and other agencies that place in entry-level positions; executives have headhunters to help them find the perfect job. Like the shrinking middle class, there are few resources out there for people like me: well beyond entry-level, highly educated, experienced, and skilled, but not an executive, or seeking an executive position. There are career counselors to help mid-career transitioners ‘figure out’ what they want to do; there are job coaches to help people prepare for interviews, but there’s not much help if you know what you want to do and have solid interviewing skills.

THE SOLUTION

A ‘job advocate’ arrangement that pays upon placement in a job. Instead of paying up-front for coaching/job hunt assistance, I will reward half of my first month’s paycheck (this is negotiable) to whomever helps me get a job.

WHY?

I recently had my 210^th interview, but I’ve only had 5 offers for permanent employment.  At this point it is worth exploring things I can do to improve and other creative options. However, my desire to remain professional and polite (along with my non-aggressive personality) makes it difficult for me to pressure interviewers for ‘hard feedback’; it also keeps me from calling potential employers for the ‘inside scoop’.

In short, the person I am looking for would:

• Advocate for me
• Get the hard feedback from past interviewers
• Politely but assertively contact HR staff and potential employers, getting the ‘inside scoop’ on positions

DETAILS

• The job must be permanent and full-time (some part-time positions considered).
• Due to my FedLoan status (as well as my personal and professional objectives) the position has to be with a nonprofit organization or government. Private sector jobs will be considered, but pay has to compensate for the change in loan status.
• The job must be a reasonable match for my skills, experience, and education. I’d only consider an entry level position if it looked promising towards a long-term profession.
• To give some specific figures: I currently struggle to make $2000 a month; a 'good job' of the time I'm seeking pays between $3000-4000 a month, so my Job Advocate would get $1500-2000 for successfully getting me a job.

IN CONCLUSION

What do you think? Would this work? What details have I left out? If ‘half of one month’s pay’ isn’t enough of an incentive, what about ‘half of two month’s pay’ or ‘full first paycheck’? What is the barrier keeping this proposal from working?

Your feedback is appreciated!

Thank you,

I gotta stop applying for these jobs

I forget which interview this was on Thursday, #208? 210? Something like that.
It was almost identical to #206: working with absolute destitute homeless folks. (The city has declared a state of emergency on homelessness, thus all the jobs).

A few weeks ago I carpet bombed craigslist, sending out generic cover letters to a dozen places in the nonprofit job section.

I remembered this place because although it was for a "Lead Case Manager", there was no agency name on the application.

So when I got a call on Monday about an interview for the "Lead Case Manager" position, I had to ask at the end of the call, 'who are you again?'

That may have set them back a little, but it was a sign of things to come.

I was told to go to an address at 11am. I went there, a run down three-story building in a run down part of town. There was a secure door and a directory with a phone and instructions on how to call tenants to get it. I picked up the phone, dialed the number, and... nothing. I did this a few times before looking up the number on my own phone. "I'm outside but I can't get it", I told the receptionist. "I'll come right out," she said. Ok. The directory said the agency was on the third floor, so I imagined the amount of time it'd take the receptionist to get up from her desk, walk out of the office to the elevator, press the button, wait for the elevator to arrive, etc. Maybe it was a really slow, old elevator. Maybe it was jammed. Maybe she took the stairs. Whatever the case, no woman appeared at the door.
Minutes passed.
I didn't want to appear impatient, so I waited. Five minutes then I called again. "I went out and looked for you but you weren't there!" Said the receptionist. We clarified exactly where I was (facing the school, facing the numbered building of the address given to me). "Oh, come around the corner" she said.
This is too long, and we haven't even gotten to the unsettling parts. It's a homeless shelter for some of the worst situations out there.
They didn't know I was supposed to have an interview.
There was some shuffling about and finally I went into the room with two people and a third -the one who called me to schedule the interview- on a speaker phone.
"Why on earth would you want to work here?!?!" Asked the speaker on the phone for the first question.

The other two barely made eye contact with me.

In short, it was awkward. I was cordial and used all my standard answers and managed -I think- to even appear interested in the job.

After the interview I got a tour of the place, and honestly homeless shelter are much more unsettling when you just stumble into them. Once you get a tour, they're a lot more comfortable.
The next day I got a call from the lady on the speaker phone -the director- clarifying the pay rate, which was never mention in the interview. $18/hr she said.

Ugh. I gotta stop applying for jobs like that.

Difficult questions

Had an interview yesterday, #206! I’m slogging through it, trying not to fuck up too badly, giving ‘reasonable’ answers to all their questions. (It’s a union-backed temp job with the city, so every question is delivered as robotically as possible). Then I get to the last one: “Tell us why you’re the best candidate for the position”.

Few questions illicit such a visceral reaction (the other that comes to mind is “what’s your salary requirements”, on which I think I’ve ranted before).

I shyly reiterated how my education, skills, and experience match what they’re looking for, like the robot that is processing the questions. Trying to add the cherry to the top, I add “and I’m dedicated to the cause”, and something about being an artist (as the job had to do with arts).

The cherry topped a shit sundae and I knew it.

This is what I wanted to say: I am a dedicated servant to my fellow peeps, especially those less fortunate than me. I am inherently by nature not a selfish, self-aggrandizing, or self-centered person. In fact, one of my major challenges in running for public office was that it was ALL ABOUT ME, and I loathe the limelight. (I really had to work on that, and it was very difficult to see my name splattered on signs all over the neighborhood.) I do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. If I really thought I was the best person for anything, I wouldn’t be in this line of work. Cause I don’t know if I’m the best, I don’t know who the other people are, I’m sure they’re excellent too. I can’t say I’m better than them. (It was different in my campaign: the incumbent was well known, and I had specific policy grievances with him, as well proposals and visions that were vastly different. It was cute.)

So no, I can’t say why I’m the best person for this job, and asking me makes me want to crawl into a hole.

I am not competitive by nature. I never have been. I’ve never tackled a challenge because I thought I could do it better, or that I was better than someone else. Nothing on my resume is there for that reason. I do things because it’s the right thing to do, because I want a better world, because there are so many injustices out there than need to be undone. In fact, it could be argued quite strongly that the much of the world’s problems are because some people think too highly of themselves. I don’t even remember if I voted for myself (which one out, the quest for humility, or my own vote? I don’t remember, and it was a fierce debate in the voting booth).

So why am I the best candidate? I’m not. Lots of people are. Some might also be in line for interview. Don’t make me disparage them or inflate my ego to get this job. 

Thank you.

 

For those keeping track

Today's rejection was from Interview #202!

Since then I've had two other interviews, and have two scheduled for tomorrow, one of them a second interview at a "worst-case scenario" homeless shelter, ie the trenches. I've already worked in the trenches, a couple times, and don't want to work there again.

If every interview were a plastic bottle, it'd look something like this

Today’s gutwretch brought to you by....

(Internal thought process: do I run some sort of search on my spreadsheet to update the number of interviews I’ve had, as like salt on the wound of this one? Or do I just plow ahead?)

I’m really sick of this.

It’s been two weeks since I updated the blog, and honestly I lose track of all the interviews. Last I wrote, I had an uplifting conversation with ASU. Right before that, the summary of a frustrating and brief interview. What I didn’t mention in that post, was that I ran home for that phone interview from a separate interview in the morning with  mid-sized local nonprofit helping chronically unemployed adults get work.

Shudder.

I thought about saying “THIS IS ME!” but restrained myself. Afterall, I didn’t have a career for 20 years in an industry that disappeared. I’m not 50, only 43. I haven’t been unemployed for 5 years, I’ve been underemployed, scrambling for a couple part-time minimum wage jobs. And my industry didn’t disappear, I sought a career change and accrued $70,000 in student debt for a Master’s degree that gets me about $20,000 a year. So I’m not the perfect client, but close.

ANYway, interview went well… blah blah, sent a thank you note. And waited. That was two weeks ago from Friday. I meant to call Friday, but didn’t. And no better way to start the day than with a phone call to a job interview that you’re pretty sure you didn’t get!

She was caught a little off guard. They filled the position, and she apologized for not getting back to me. I kept my dignity and didn’t burst into tears, managed to ask about other positions, using her for a reference, etc etc.

Then I hung up. Then I cried.