Open letter to HRNasty

Hey there,

Love the site, thanks for the insight. Despite the smarmy tone, it really is useful an helpful to know what's going on the the HR mind.

I doubt you have time, but I invite you to check out my blog. I have a masters degree and over ten years experience working in schools and nonprofits but haven't been able to land a job in the two years since graduating from grad school. Not all rejections are the candidates fault. In this economy, you can be a 100% match to a job and still come up the wrong one of a dozen.


HOWEVER, I do wonder if you could help out: in my job hunt, now over 1200 applications and 100 interviews, I've come across some shitty HR processes. 

Applications that require to be printed out and filled in by hand. 

Poorly formatted Applications in Word that require me to adjust the formatting. (What do you think I am, an HR specialist?) 

I have specific special spot in my large intestine for Taleo. The job hunt process is frustrating, but I really wonder what the purpose is of these sites. As a rule of thumb, if an organization uses Taleo, it's not worth applying for.

BUT EVEN MORE SPECIFICALLY, can you call out the Seattle YMCA for having the shittiest HR process in the entire Pacific Northwest? 

It features at two points not one, not two, but THREE scroll bars! 

Three scroll bars on one page! 

Your browser's scroll bar, their page's scroll bar, and another scroll bar in the cut n paste section for your résumé and cover letter, which they then automatically reformat to fit. 

It reminds me of the websites I used to design in the 90s with FrontPage -which is why I'm not in the web design business. 

Seriously, it would be hilarious if this weren't the HR process for a very large social service agency where I've been trying to get a job. (The site also features a skills section, saying in fine print that it's optional, putting applicants in the awkward position of having to guess if HR really wants to know my skill sin accounting, ten key, branding and marketing, when I'm applying to be a camp counselor)

To add further insult to injury, empirical evidence suggests that hiring managers totally skip their own HR process, and use either internal candidates or resumes sent directly to them.

Oh yeah, today I got an email from the Y thanking me for applying to a position recently, I was not selected for an interview. I replied that I had applied to 12 different positions with them in the last month, could they tell me specifically which one was rejecting me? Cause I had an interview three weeks ago and assumed I didn't get it, cause they never called me back. But the interview scheduled for next week, are you backing out of that?

Needless the say, as expected the email bounced back to me as an invalid address.

So yeah, just a chronic job hunters rant of the day. Thanks again for your site. Keep up the good work.

WWF...

Soon this will be me: stuck in a tight spot and wondering for so long how to get out of it, I turn to stone.

Did I subconsciously sabotage myself today?

I've been doing some reflection on my interview today. Unfortunately nothing about the interview itself, but my action afterwards.

After all, if anyone in the office saw me grab a handful of rubbers on the way out of the door, they'd surely ask, "who was that strange, suit dressed man who took a handful of condoms on the wait out the door today?"

Since its a sensitive facility working with  vulnerable, at-risk youth it wouldn't be surprising if they asked around, and it wouldn't take long before te question was answered. "Oh, that must of been the guy who interviewed for the Vulnerable Child Case Manager job. Gee, what would he possibly want with a handful of condoms?"

Those are some awfully small ifs. The realm of possibility here is very high.

So did I do it?

"Why not?"

Cause its unprofessional and could ruin your chances with this job.

So why? Not that free condoms are hard to find (in fact, they are. At least for me. About as hard as it is finding women who want to use them properly with me.)

Knowing it would jeopardize my job chances, why did I do it?

Was I subconsciously sabotaging my opportunity here?

That's the crux of my question.

Many times during my job hunt when I've sought advice, advisors ask something along those lines: Am I doing something subconsciously wrong?

Am I a sociopath?

It kinda pisses me off, cause its suggesting that I AM TO BLAME. That I'm not trying hard enough. That I'd sacrifice my relationship and my sanity just.... Cause. Cause some people are leeches and I must be leeching off the system.

Needless to say, that's not the case. But I still wonder why I grab a couple condoms on the way out today. Maybe cause I wanted to blog about it.

Review of today's interview

Today I interviewed at a small social service organization for a "wraparound facilitator", a term I hand heard of until earlier this week and initially thought it referred to a new special at Quiznos.

Three women conducted the interview, the lead, a small African American woman who had in every appearance burned out on the job already, and another woman who appeared to be transgender (which made me think of a Rule of Life I had recently read: "under no circumstances whatever should you ask a woman if she's pregnant." You should also never ask a woman if she's transgender either cause ultimately, so what?)

I appreciated the thoroughness of their questions and the time devoted to the interview. At first it started like another 6 question meet and great and in 15 minutes I'd be out the door like a cheap whore. But they actually went deeper, asked interesting things about different scenarios and situations and listened intently (well, Lead did. They other two seemed a little spaced out. They're in the social service field, so I understand their spaceyness). The interview last nearly an hour. The worst part, though, when I asked the timeline for hiring.
"3 weeks", said Lead.
Ugh.

I can't wait three weeks. I told myself earlier: I have 5 interviews in the next 3 days, and if I don't land one of them I'm pulling the nuclear option, whatever that is, something about foreclosing on my house and moving back home to live with my mom.
Ugh.

Ps- I'm usually flawless in my delivery and behavior. Well, maybe not "flawless", but damn close. I'm sure to do everything you're supposed to -show up early, suit and tie, be engaging and excited about the job, ask good questions, etc etc- and nothing you're not supposed to do (pick my nose, show up drunk, hit on the interviewers). This time though, as I leave the three interviewers in the conference room and shut the door behind me, there in the lobby sits a bowl of condoms. I think, "well, if I don't get a job soon I'm going to have to start pimping my ass out at truck stops" so I grab a couple. After all, I can't pay my mortgage and don't think condoms are covered by food stamps. Think they saw me? Think this ruined my chances with the job?

Welcome to October

It's hard to say exactly how desperate I am. Here it is now October, and I have myself a deadline to get a job by September 1st. And before that July, and before that June, and before that...

I want to post on Facebook my desperation, but its against culturally accepted social norms to display desperation and neediness. A couple months ago a friend -a distant but long time friend who also works in the social services field- posted that he was in immediate need of $300 an would do any work over the weekend for it. I think he got something, but still I was humbling to read that. I'm not in desperate need of $300, I'm in desperate need of full time employment, and $1000.